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É preciso conquistar a linguagem, cortejar, se aproximar, se abismar, se arrematar na paixão, e é preciso aceitar quando a linguagem começa a repetir o ponto, quando precisa ser contestada, instada, revigorada, des’construída, desatada, amada. Tropeço, alheado, pela Benjamim Constant e a linguagem me vira a cara.

Essa metrópole, Belém, vale mais pelas sensações que pela adrenalina. Não nego que sou assim.

Mas os picos de adrenalina da cidade – a “loucura”, a arte, as águas – nada devem à turma dos anos 70. Sou bastante assim.

A luz que se vê ao fim do túnel de mangueiras é Nossa Senhora de Nazaré.

Da infância em Altamira, Transamazônica, recordo a ardente sensação da religião, o sofrimento, a abnegação (tal se prolongou até a adolescência) e, ainda hoje, com deslumbramento, me toca a poesia da bíblia, a transcendência por meio do arrebatamento: palavras de Deus, sentimentos do homem.

Passo, ao mesmo tempo, em frente à Basílica de Nazaré, à direita, e ao Cine Ópera, de filmes pornôs, à esquerda.

(Vi em vídeo-cassete, em Castanhal, na casa de uns japoneses dados à eletrônica, isso quando no Brasil nem se vendia vídeo, o clássico erótico “O Diabo na Carne de Miss Jones”; até hoje, algumas das imagens são as mais gélidas e gratas que o cinema me concedeu.)

De frente das árvores ancestrais do Museu Goeldi, vislumbro o mercado de São Braz, a uns dois quilômetros, e na largura da Magalhães Barata ainda cabe a nota de Manuel Bandeira: em Belém, as avenidas são estradas. Não sou do interior, sou do mato, o simples entrar na mata já me fez chorar, é um drama na hora de escrever poesia: minha relação com a selva foi mais densa que a de Casimiro de Abreu e meus versos tentam ir pelo mesmo caminho. (É preciso dizer não à linguagem, é preciso ser resistente, afastar-se dos lábios precipitantes, silenciar feito um cometa, partir da linguagem em procura da linguagem, como um mineiro sideral, noite afora, retornar com diamantes assombrados.)

Antes de o mercado de São Braz virar espaço cultural, eu e meu irmão, adolescentes, lá íamos da Terra Firme nos impregnar com o cheiro de peixe e de ervas amazônicas, e voltávamos na chuva que era a mesma da selva da infância. Sou da “perifa” como Belém, suburbanicidade, e não engano que bilhar e futebol me arremetem como as mallarmeanas medulas consteladas (é preciso ser duro e verdadeiro com a linguagem, e assim limpá-la, é preciso dessacralizá-la e assim descobrir-lhe, é preciso perscrutar-lhe cada ponto, como numa acupuntura da língua, e fazer, da palavra, carne e desintegrar a carne em átomos para a Ursa Maior).

A Feira da 25 se parece com aquele futebol de manhã de domingo (Baenão ou Curuzu) e o bairro da Pedreira – a periferia afirmada – faz a memória tão vívida que um samba passa no vento; vem, então, comigo, Ruyzinho Barata de alucinações, volta, poeta, a transpor a Senador Lemos, retardos canais, eita Belém de brenhas, palafitas de rios que viraram lamaçais. É preciso desentranhar a linguagem da linguagem – como extrair-se uma mulher de outra mulher -, é preciso habitar os meandros sem passado ou futuro, desmerecer o pensamento que precede o trovão atroado, é preciso coçar a linguagem com ungüentos, despertar-lhe todos os risos-de-canto-de-boca, amanhecer de sílabas olorosas como leoas.

É preciso conhecer a folha pelo talhe, e o talhe pela boca, talos nos dentes do menino lavrador. É preciso lavrar, desentranhar as raízes para ver de perto a linguagem, é preciso plantar-se na linguagem para merecer a seiva e o mel, minha Belém que nasce em si mesma, Vênus emergindo da concha dessas mãos.

É preciso tomar a Pedro Álvares Cabral, chegar ao rio Guamá da linguagem e fazê-la jorrar sobre si mesma, é preciso agarrar-se às margens da linguagem e trazê-la para as margens de si mesmo.

O sol lança a linha do dia.

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